I’ve been watching the news of the goings on in Egypt and the Middle East. One of many stories that has stuck out has been the assassination attempt by the Taliban on a 14 year old girl. A 14 year old girl, really guys? Feelin’ manly are ya? What’s her crime? Was she a member of a girl gang wanted for burglary, robbery, assault or murder? Nope, just a little Pakistani girl wanting to go to school as well as wanting all girls to be able to go to school. Ooooo ! Dangerous….scary! Best stop her before this situation gets out of hand! Another story was that Egyptian women were being raped and beaten in great numbers, to the point that most were no longer going out side their homes. The story has it that the wonderful gentlemen’s club, the Muslim Brotherhood was paying gangs to do it. What was behind this? They were protesting a “legal” decision made by the Brotherhood’s man Mohamed Morsi. In fairness the brotherhood was also paying gangs to beat on men that were protesting Morsi. That’s the kind of democracy some in our govt. feel we need to support.
Ever since we, years ago, put boots on the ground in Iraq and Afghanistan, we’ve heard horror stories of the atrocities perpetrated on girls and women, as well as men, in the name of their “peaceful” religion. Everything from the bold fashion statement of the Berka (which objectifies them just as much as posing nude, only at the other end of the spectrum) to family honor killings. Ahh yes, the religion of peace! Another question comes to mind from all these news stories; Where’s the outrage from the women’s groups in America? Where is NOW, where are the feminists, those bold women battling on the front lines for women’s rights? If ever there was a time and reason for them to speak up it is this and now. They are obviously really too busy helping women that are already healthy, educated and employed cover up their lapses in judgment and sexual indiscretions to bother with women forced to wear bags over their heads and shoveling camel dung for a living. Now maybe, just maybe, I just haven’t seen them because the media is not giving them the air time it used to. That thought will be for another time.
Quite a few years ago, I attended a Promise Keepers convention and was surprised to see the protests outside the stadium. The protesters really need to choose their battles better. If they had done a little research they would have found that the Promise Keepers organization was urging men and teaching them how to, be better men, husbands and fathers. Now there’s a real threat to women and society. Then there was a protest of the results of a Southern Baptist conference, I refer to the one around 2003 where the media reported the outcome was “wives need to submit more to their husbands” and not much else. I have to cut them a little slack on this because I’m not certain the main stream media with their “love of the Christian church” reported it correctly. They could have the transcripts and recordings and with reporters in attendance, still “spin” it to make it look like the Spanish Inquisition. My point being, there is more outrage with the way the Christian church and organizations like Promise Keepers supposedly look at and treat women, than the outright blatant abuse of girls and women in the Middle East and elsewhere..
Because of the unique ability of some in the media and certain women’s groups to pass judgment on things they apparently haven’t a clue about, I thought I might vent a little about how marriage in the Christian church is being treated in the media and by some groups. Especially how women are treated as second class citizens in the Christian marriage. I will probably lose a few points on my “guy card” but what the heck, I haven’t been to a “He-man Women Haters Club” meeting in years.
In defense of the Promise Keepers; what’s wrong with men taking more responsibility for their actions towards their wives and families? Only the truly paranoid would see something wrong with that. After all, feminists have for years been complaining about how men are undisciplined, irresponsible, beer swilling chauvinist pigs. Why they even burned their bras as a sign of protest and liberation. (?) Obviously anytime a group of men get together, they are planning on how to enslave their girlfriends, wives and women in general. The fact that their girlfriends and wives suggested, recommended, or asked them to go, has little to do with it.
In defense of the Southern Baptists; I can only assume that the media did their usual self-serving job, reporting only the portions that made a good story or promoted their point of view. As I see it, although we have some denominational differences, the truth is truth and I will present it as I see it.
A woman’s place, as written in the Bible, has long been misunderstood. To begin to understand, we must first start at the beginning.
Genesis 1:27 says “ So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”
The word “man” in this verse translates from the Hebrew as human being, species or mankind. Not the male of the species, it is also spelled Adam. Go figure. The word image translates to resemblance. God created him male and female He created them.
God created mankind to resemble Him, male and female. Male and female all rolled into one tidy bundle. God is neither male nor female, but both, male and female. In Genesis 1:26 God creates man, the essence of man the spiritual being. In Genesis 2:7 God creates from the “dust of the Earth” the physical being and breathed into his nostrils the “breath of life”; and the physical man became a living being. God injected into the physical man his essence, or spiritual self and man became the total package, spirit and body.
In Genesis 2:18 God says, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Please notice how He said a “helper”, not a slave or servant. Also this “helper” was to be comparable to him. In other words; his equal.
So, our man Adam checked out all the birds, cattle, and critters, and every beast of the field. “ But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.” Gen. 2:20. This means that no matter the brain capacity or supposed language skills of the porpoise or the problem solving skills of the chimpanzee or any other characteristics of any other animal, none were found worthy to be compared to Adam, or mankind. Nor should they be!
So, having found no worthy helper in the animal kingdom, God gets creative again.(‘cause He can do that) Genesis 2: 21&22 “The Lord caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep; and He took one of his ribs and closed up his flesh in it’s place.” “Then the rib which the Lord had taken from man, He made into a woman and He brought her to the man.”
God took the “total package man” with the male/female spirit being, split it in two gave each its own body and there you have it boys and girls, boy and girl. The only way to give man a helper comparable to himself was to take a part of him, out of him and make another being. Not take the bad and leave the good, or take the good and leave the bad. Just take a part of one and make another.
Notice all Gods creatures were made from the dust of the Earth except the woman. She was the only one brought out of an existing being. Just an interesting point. There’s an old wives tale/urban myth that women have one more rib than men because of the whole Adam’s rib story. Nope, we be equal, in that particular anatomical area.
Verse 23 has Adam saying “This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; and she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.” There is no servant, slave, or second class citizen to be seen. Sounds pretty equal so far. Verse 24 says “ Therefore a man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
I hope you noticed that it said that when a man is joined to his wife, they shall become one flesh. Any first year anatomy student can see that certain physical differences between man and woman were made to compliment each other. They shall become one flesh; the total package once again like before chap. 2: 21. Think about it.
Notice that it doesn’t say a man and a man or a woman and a woman, a boy and his dog or a girl and a girl’s best friend. (diamonds ?) It says a man and his wife. There is not now nor will there ever be a relationship like that of a husband and wife. The two, when done properly and according to Gods will, will compliment and complete (thank you Jerry Maguire) each other so that they become as one flesh. Even worldly scholars mention how a couple becomes more like each other as time goes by in mannerisms and characteristics, and sometimes physical appearance.
Still, ain’t seeing no second class citizen.
I’d be willing to bet that there are darn few people that haven’t heard the story of the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve, the apple and the snake, so I’ll move on. The punishment phase of the story is a little less known. In Genesis 3: 16 it says “ I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain, you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.” Bummer! For those keeping score, read Gen. 3:17-19 to see that Adam didn’t get away clean himself. Among other things, ol’ Adam went from “tending” to “toiling” in this world. The difference between “getting to”and “having to”, one you enjoy doing the other you have to do to survive. It is however; quite obvious that it was not Gods original intention to have the woman be the servant to the man. Refer back to Gen.2: 18. It was only after the “original sin” and the woman’s part in it did that come about.
To recap;
God created mankind in His own image. (spiritually speaking) He then made the physical man out of the dust of the Earth. He wanted to give man a companion, but could not find one equal or comparable to him out of all the critters on Earth, furred, feathered, or finned. So God split the spiritual being in two, made a new body for the new kid in the garden. When the two are united in a God ordained fashion as husband and wife, the two become one once again. Division came into the Earth with the original sin and has been trying to split man and woman, husband and wife ever since.
In Matthew 12:25, Mark 3:25, and Luke 11:17, Jesus is quoted as saying, “… a house divided against itself cannot stand.” When the institution of marriage and the family is divided against itself, you end up with single parent homes, improper parental role models, children growing up confused about their roles in life, children growing up too soon or thinking they are adults, without any sense of respect, responsibility, or self discipline. A broad generalization I know, but read the newspaper and prove me wrong.
Deterioration of society due to the deterioration of the family due to the deterioration of the God ordained relationship between husband and wife, man and woman.
Oh what can we do, what can we do?!
Glad you asked.
Romans 5: 12 says “… through one man sin entered the world and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men because all have sinned…”. Romans 5:18&19 says, “Therefore through one mans offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one mans righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life. For by one mans disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one mans obedience many will be made righteous.”
In other words, because Adam and Eve sinned, the world is in the mess it’s in. But because Jesus submitted to Gods will, submitted to persecution and death, we do not have to live in this mess we’re in. Jesus has restored the equal relationship between men and women. Because of His submission to the will of God on our behalf, the two can once again become one. The catch is, we have to submit to Jesus which is also the will of God.
Ephesians 5:21 says we should “submit one to another in the fear of the Lord.” In other words, we should all make ourselves available to serve each other. You to me, him to her, and she to he. We should all be ready willing and able to help meet the needs of our brothers and sisters, friends and neighbors. Submitting is not a bad thing in and of itself. To whom or what you submit to is what determines if the submission is good or bad. I heard Bob Dylan song once with a verse that fits well right here. “You’re going to have to serve somebody. It may be the devil or it may be the Lord, but you’re going to have to serve somebody.” Thank you Mr. Zimmerman.
Jesus’ whole life teaches us about submission. Here is the Son of God, the son of the creator of the universe, meeting and serving the needs of anyone and everyone that believed and had faith. He healed the sick, fed the hungry, and as an object lesson, washed the feet of His disciples, in order to teach them submission. Jesus says in Matthew 20: 26-28, “ … whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave, - just as the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Jesus submitted His life to Gods will and died that we might live. So when you read Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as though unto the Lord” This is the verse that most men love to quote in reference to marriage and then they forget to read on. I know a couple of supposedly Christian (not my call to make) men that rode that pony all the way to divorce court. They do however, prove the concept of “sowing and reaping”, sow division reap division, with a harvest of 30, 60 or 100%
You may ask why wives have to submit and husbands don’t? Well, they do, remember verse 21 and in Eph. 5:25 we see that the Lord wants “husbands to love their wives as Jesus loved the church and gave Himself for it.” (Many men get temporary blindness at verse 25 and only recover around chapter 6) So what all did Jesus’ love for the church include? Only total dedication and selflessness even unto death. If you’re keeping score, wives are told to serve their men, but husbands are told to die for their wives. That would mean total dedication to her even unto death. Who gets the theoretical dirty end of that stick? Then to emphasize the mans responsibility to his wife, verses 28 & 29 ; So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh but nourishes it and cherishes it even as the Lord the church. Verses 28 and 29 definitely bring it back around to Genesis 2:21 & 22 and then 23, “bone of my bone , flesh of my flesh.”Except for that dying part it may sound cut and dried and relatively simple. Be advised, the learning curve is huge! But it can be done.
John 10:10 says “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” For the Christian relationship to prosper and flourish, acceptance of and submission to Jesus is essential. Relationships can, have, and will work with only one partner having accepted Jesus, but it will not work as well, and will be more of a struggle. Non-Christian marriages can and do work, but I wouldn’t want to go up against those odds today. Just check out the divorce rate statistics. I know, the divorce rate for supposed Christians is as high, but know this; just as hanging out in a garage, doesn’t make you a car; going to church once a week, doesn’t mean you’re living a Christian life. Relationships work better when you work Gods plan instead of you own.
Amos 3:3 asks the question, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
Matthew 18:19-20 says, “Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” Imagine Jesus, right there with you in your marriage, giving you the answers you need and serving just like He teaches us to do, just because two agree as one.
What does the Bible say about husbands, wives, and marriage? You certainly won’t find out by reading the paper or watching the news, so I’ll give you a few verses to chew on.
Proverbs 5:18
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Proverbs 12:4
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 14:1
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
Those last two verses seem to say that a wife has some power over not only her life but her husbands as well. Please use it wisely.
Proverbs 18:22
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.
Proverbs 19:14
House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord.
Being considered a gift from God sure doesn’t sound like a second class citizen to me.
Proverbs 31:10-31 clearly defines the modern woman of today, hard working, resourceful, intelligent, shrewd businessperson. Check it out.
10. Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
31. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Ecclesiastes 9:9
Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity.
Malachi 2:14,15
…the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
…and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
1Peter 3:1
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
A verse used by some men in an attempt to save their authoritative position as “lord of the Manor” is 1 Timothy 2:12 “But I do not permit a woman to teach nor to have authority over a man, but to be in silence.” The problem I have with this is we’re not talking about “authority over “someone but equality with someone and, it’s not a problem but an observation, Paul clearly states “I do not permit….” There are several places in scripture where Paul interjects his personal feelings into his Spirit inspired teachings & letters but he also separates it from the rest of what he is saying. “I find this a faithful saying…” or “I would that all be as me…” but be sure he makes it known that they are his feelings. Consume that as you will.
I know some Christians that do believe in the total submission of the wife to the husband, and I believe it is okay to do so, as long as both and especially the wife is in agreement to those conditions. If she doesn’t agree then the “house is divided” and it will not stand. That is not to say that the wife always has to be in agreement with the husband. The husband needs to be in agreement with the wife too. Husbands, if you are going to insist on submission, remember “…as Jesus loved the church and gave Himself for it.” They are after all equals, and they are partners.
Can two walk together unless they are agreed?
… and they shall become one flesh.
And there you have it, good luck with that.
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